over a year...

one thing i've noticed is that the ellipsis is used too much by me. you know what it is. three periods in a row. implying something more. realistically its more that i can't commit to end a phrase/sentence/thought. i read my last post from 14 months ago and realize that i have amazing powers of prediction. i'm 9 months into this residency thing. my intern year almost at an end and still i'm not prepared to be anything but nothing. am i more comfortable in patient's rooms? yes. do i think i know what i'm talking about...ever? no. do patients hang on my every word? yes. should they? no. i don't know how much longer i can take this doctor thing. it's one disappointment after another. each day i come home feeling dumber than the last. is that possible? yes. you leave the safe confines of a medical school feeling that you have learned it all, but you know nothing. each day i'm reminded of no less that 20 things that i do not know. do i know those same things that i didn't know the following day? no. i suppose people would call that learning. i'm not prepared for that.